Getting Back to the Heart of the Matter: Caring for others while caring for yourself

Getting Back to the Heart of the Matter…

 

As a caregiver to an older adult, we sometimes get so caught up in the daily tasks of care that we forget the emotional ties that connect us to the individual themselves.  Many of us move quickly from task to task; and that is multiplied if we are caring for ourselves, our children, significant other and aging family members.  We connect with the senior only when we are hastily unpacking the latest bag of groceries for them, or dropping off the newest prescription.  We forget that the one thing we can offer our parents, our Aunt, or the special neighbor that is the “target” of our time and attention, is ourselves.  Not the harried self or the time crunch self, but the self who can share a story about their day, or their grandchild (or grand-dog).

If the time you are putting in to help the older adult in your life is only task specific, maybe it is time to re-evaluate your role. Maybe there is someone else who can do the cleaning, the errands, or even the personal care, so that you can return to being the daughter, the son, the niece, the spouse or the friend.  These services do not have to “emotionally bankrupt” you. Carefree Home Care, a non-medical home care agency in AZ serving the Scottsdale and Phoenix area offers complimentary assessments by our RN case manager that allows you to understand your families needs and together develop a plan of care that allows the older adult their independence while assuring their safety and dignity.  Assistance with errands, homemaking, companionship, safety and wellness checks, medication management and personal care assistance can be managed by trained professionals; leaving you to utilize your time with your loved ones in more emotionally productive ways.   

Once you have freed up some time to enjoy your relationship with each other, it is time to develop a new list.  But this list is about ways to spend time together.  Below I have given you a place to start.  Now is a great time to begin your new routine and start to enjoy each other again.

 20 Ways to Share Time with an Older Adult

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Play a game of cards * plant an indoor garden * read a book together * rent an old movie * make cookies * look through a photo album and label old pictures * decorate the house for an upcoming holiday * write a letter to a relative * go to the zoo * get dressed up and go to dinner * take a walk in the mall on a hot day * put together a book of favorite family recipes * make a family tree * go get ice cream * visit a pet store or humane society * listen to music (of all generations) * make a list of senior discounts in town and take advantage of them one by one * buy a vase and keep it filled with fresh flowers * go to the library * tape record old stories and give to family members.

 To schedule your complimentary assessment with Carefree Home Care call: 480-483-8531

Talking with elders about transitions: Base your strategy on family tradition

Family communication styles

The first time I took my husband home to meet the folks, I realized it might be a bit of a culture shock for him. I was from Long Island; he grew up in a small town in southern Minnesota. We talked about the differences in dialects and pace. I offered suggestions to help bridge the gap: Ask for a soda, not the Midwestern “pop.” When we go into the city, I said, he should not feel obligated to take literature from everyone passing it out on the street. More important than any of these “travel tips” was preparing him for the conversations that could take place in my family home.

While his family gatherings are low-key and quiet, mine can be very loud. I explained that the volume didn’t necessarily convey anger; it could merely be passion for the topic. Instead of weather and the latest movies, my family conversations often focused on religion, politics, and family updates. Together we learned to navigate each other’s family traditions and styles, and it taught me a valuable lesson. How we communicate is a family legacy that we need to remember as we prepare to discuss aging and caregiving concerns.

If you grew up in a family where you were involved in family discussions, if you knew some of the more personal details of family members’ lives, then it would not be a stretch to carry that style into your discussions about health care and caregiving issues of the present. Because of the nature of my family’s ability to delve into some taboo topics, I can now easily talk to my parents about planning for their long-term care needs and discussing openly any concerns I have. The other day my mom and I discussed their funeral plans. My mom is healthy. Given her age, though, it is important to understand her wishes for the time of her death and the steps that could be taken to finance and plan for her or my dad’s funeral. She was not upset by the conversation – it was simply an extension of previous conversations about their long-term care needs.

If you are from a family that did not discuss personal issues, you need to respect those boundaries while still finding opportunities to understand your parents’ goals. While you may enter the conversation wanting to know all their financial information so that you can help plan for long-term financing, you may need to settle initially for knowing only that they have discussed these details with a financial adviser and that the details would be provided as their abilities to handle the accounts change.

In some families adult children may be embarrassed or afraid to broach such an intensely personal topic. Some hold out hope that “everything will work out” and that they can wait until “the right time” to start the conversation. In reality, there is no perfect time to hold this conversation. But the longer you wait, the greater the chance a crisis will occur that will further limit the options that are available.

Successful communication begins with a plan    

Know your family’s communication style and work within the system that is comfortable and harmonious to all involved. You may wish to consider these questions in your planning process:

• Who is the best spokesperson for the family in the discussion?  This may be the one who is the eldest child if she or he holds the position of authority in the sibling group. It may be the child who holds a professional degree or title most closely related to the topic at hand – i.e. lawyer, financial planner, nurse, or social worker. It may be the child who is least sensitive to a defensive response and can more easily roll with the punches.
• Are you asking something of the older adult that you yourself have completed or would be willing to participate in? Don’t for example, ask your parents to sign documents that you do not have as part of your estate plan. Everyone – not just the elderly – needs a health care directive. If you want your parents to complete one, include yourself in the process and show them that this not about age and infirmity but sound family and legal planning.
• Can you use impersonal examples to begin the conversation? If you want to understand how your parents may react to a topic, start it off in a way that is not personal to them. Talk to them about a friend who is in a similar situation and gauge their reaction. Use a story/article from a newspaper and ask what they think about it. Don’t use the words, “you need to”, or “you have to,” as this will immediately put them on the defensive.

While communication can be challenging even in the best of situations, there are steps you can take to improve the likelihood of success.  See our next blog entry on Communication Tips

Consider Medical Needs When Traveling

While those of all ages can enjoy travelling, the itinerary should take into account a senior’s physical and cognitive abilities, and other special needs. The following are some items that you may want to consider prior to making a trip:

• Those with Alzheimer’s or memory loss, even in the early stages, can become easily disoriented when removed from familiar surroundings and routines. You may want to design a “vacation” using the senior’s residence as home base. Day outings can provide the socialization and adventure without complicating the time increased disorientation.
• Plan activities around the time of day that best suits the older adult. If sundowning or fatigue are issues, you will want to ensure that the bulk of the activity take place during the best time of the day for your family member. Call ahead to determine which day of the week or time of the day has the fewest visitors coming through and the shortest lines.
• While most US destinations are equipped to manage and accommodate seniors with physical limitations, foreign destinations may not be as accessible. Check with your agent or hotel reservationist to ensure that the room and grounds will be accessible to all travelers.
• Plan for the unexpected. While no one wants to think about the “what ifs”, it is prudent to plan ahead and have a contingency plan. Call your medical insurer to clarify your coverage while traveling. Consider purchasing travel insurance for all trips.
• Ask your doctor about medicines that can treat symptoms of “traveler’s diarrhea” and other common travel illnesses. Check to see if the physician can provide medicines ahead of time for those more likely travel concerns. Find out if there are any complicating factors that your medical history and prescription regime has if one of these travel illnesses were to occur.
• Take an extra supply of medication in case you are delayed beyond your anticipated return date.
• Ask your doctor for duplicate prescriptions – in case your medicines are lost or stolen out of the country.
• Prescriptions should be in their bottles when traveling by air/cruise so there is no question about your prescriptions from customs. A letter from the doctor or pharmacist with a list of your medications can also minimize complications in customs.
• Do not pack your medication in your checked baggage. This should always be placed in your carry on baggage.
• Keep an emergency medical form with your travel documents. Include a list of medications, medical conditions, physician name and number, insurance information and an emergency contact (other than your traveling companion). Bring a copy of your health care directive if you have one.
• If you require oxygen, talk with the airline carrier at the same time you are booking your ticket as many carriers have very specific oxygen rules and limited number of seats they can sell to oxygen dependent tickets per flight.
• Talk with your telephone representative to determine the easiest way for you to keep in touch with home. Consider a phone card. Ask for detailed instructions for dialing from the Country you are traveling to.
• Work with your credit card company to inform them you are traveling outside of your normal state/country so that they do not deny charges.

If you or your travel mate needs assistance when away from home contact Carefree Home Care 480-483-8531 or carla@carefreehomecare.com to learn how our companions and CNAs can assist you on your travels.

When to intervene with aging parents

Scientifically our bodies begin to “age” after age 30. At some point during this aging process, one begins to have more difficulty performing everyday activities. So, when should we become concerned about an aging adult?

To zero in on a person’s abilities, one should make careful observations. The following statements describe a few health and daily lifestyle patterns. If you observe a significant number of these patterns, you should consult with a specialist.

Carefree home care 480-483-8531 or carla@carefreehomecare.com can  come into your home and do a complimentary assessment by their RN or MSW to help determine what areas you may need more assistance with to ensure your independence and safety.

Physical:  

• Recent health problems
• Serious side effects from medications
• Loss or decline in vision or hearing
• Repeated falls (bruises on arms and legs can be an indicator)
• Neglected hygiene
• Incontinence (may be noted by increased foul smell, increased laundry volume, Urinary Tract Infection)

Cognitive/Orientation:

• Memory Lapses (missed appointments, activities, getting lost driving familiar route, increased questions or need for reassurance)
• Impaired Thinking and decision-making
• Impaired communication (written or verbal)
• Unaware or changes in orientation to person, place and/or time
• Inability to account for time

Behavioral: Look for changes in normal routine or patterns

• Aggressiveness or abusiveness
• Isolation
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
• Neglected appearance
• Lethargy or apathy
• Drastic change in routine

Financial:

• Not paying bills on time
• Unable to balance check book
• Disorganization with mail and paperwork
• Not able to account for spending
• Rash spending when frugal in past or vice versa

Daily Living:

• Trouble grocery shopping (either due to transportation, physical limitations or inability to process the task)
• Difficulty eating, cooking or using appliances safely
• Less frequent or poor house cleaning
• Difficulty bathing
• Difficulty remembering or coordinating medications
• Needing assistance with dressing and grooming (either for physical reasons or cognitive processing concerns)
• Cannot drive car or use public transportation 

 

 

Are You Safe in Your Home?

According to the Home Safety Council, falls are the leading cause of home injury death among older adults, accounting for 52.5% of all home injury deaths for adults between the ages of 65 and 74. And yet, falls are often preventable with the proper information and simple, inexpensive home modifications.  A home safety inspection by a knowledgeable provider of home care services to seniors will often eliminate dangerous conditions before a mishap.

There are some simple things that families and seniors can do in their homes to enhance their independence  and safety. 

Print this list out and consider going room to room to ensure that you are enjoying your home to the fullest degree while at the same time remaining as safe as possible.

Emergency Procedures:

• Do you know how to summon for emergency assistance?
• Have you considered a personal medical alert system (for example Phillips Lifeline)?
• Do you have a phone system that works for you/family despite any vision or cognitive declines? Large dial phones and ones that use pictures can be very helpful and can be ordered on line.

Floors:

• Is the home free of scatter rugs? If not, are all rugs secured at the edges?
• Are pathways and hallways clear of excess furniture and debris?

Lighting:

• Are night lights used along areas traveled after dark?
• Are light switches easily visible and within reach? Glow in the dark tape can be placed on light switches to make them visible and avoid night time incidents of not being able to see a switch.

Bathroom: 

• Are there hand grips by the tub/shower?
• Are there hand grips by the toilet? Have you considered replacing low toilets with a newer and higher model which makes getting on and off the toilet safer and easier. As we age we lose muscle strength in our legs which makes this act more difficult.
• Can someone in the home with cognitive decline recognize the bathroom? If someone with Dementia/Alzheimers is having difficulty locating the bathroom, you may want to 1)always keep the light on in the bathroom; 2) place a picture of a toilet on the door of the bathroom as a visual reminder.
• Can someone get safely in and  out of the tub/shower safely? Consider hiring a caregiver to assist with bathing needs if this is a difficult task. Bathing is important not just for hygiene itself, but also to ensure good skin integrity and minimize infections in personal areas.

Kitchen:

• Are the homeowners able to identify expired foods? As we age we often experience changes in our vision, taste and smell which puts us at high risk for exposure to expired food. Plan on regularly checking the food in the fridge and cupboards.
• Are sharp objects kept out of the reach of cognitively impaired occupants?
• Are adaptive devices available (extended graspers, eating devices, etc)

For more home safety ideas, contact our office at 480-483-8531. Request an Elder Caregiving Workbook which will give you more ideas and helpful hints.    

 And, as part of our free in home nurse assessment service, Carefree Homecare will reveiw your home for dangerous conditions that could lead to an un-necessary fall.

 Carefree Homecare Companion Service provides premier non-medical home care for seniors in Phoenix, Scottsdale and Paradise Valley.  Call us today at 480-483-8531

Summer Heat

As we age, our ability to adequately respond to summer heat can become a serious problem. The National Institute on Aging (NIA) has some advice to help older people avoid heat-related illnesses, known collectively as hyperthermia, during the summer months.

Hyperthermia can include heat stroke, heat fatigue, heat syncope (sudden dizziness after exercising in the heat), heat cramps and heat exhaustion. The risk for hyperthermia is a combination of the outside temperature along with the general health and lifestyle of the individual.

Older people, particularly those at special risk, should stay indoors on particularly hot and humid days, especially when there is an air pollution alert in effect.

People without fans or air conditioners should go to places such as shopping malls, movie theaters, libraries or cooling centers which are often provided by government agencies, religious groups, and social service organizations in many communities.

Heat stroke is an advanced form of hyperthermia that occurs when the body is overwhelmed by heat and unable to control its temperature.

Someone with a body temperature above 104 degrees is likely suffering from heat stroke and may have symptoms of -
   ● confusion,
   ● combativeness,
   ● strong rapid pulse,
   ● lack of sweating,
   ● dry flushed skin,
   ● faintness,
   ● staggering,
   ● possible delirium or
   ● coma.

Seek immediate medical attention for a person with any of these symptoms, especially an older adult.

 

www.carefreehomecare.com  Carefree Homecare Companion Service provides premier home care for seniors in Phoenix, Paradise Valley and Scottsdale.  Call us today at 480-483-8531

Long Distance Care IS Available

In earlier times, it was common for families to live in the same community generation after generation. They could share the responsibilities that go along with caring for older family members. But today, we live in a much more mobile society. Families are often spread out from one end of the country to the other. They still stay in touch, but they do it by phone, e-mail, and occasional visits.

So, when an older loved one needs care and support or when a care crisis occurs, family members come face to face with the challenge of long distance care giving. If this describes your situation, it’s important to understand your loved one’s needs and to work with other family members and professional service providers to make sure those needs are met.

Professional service providers like Carefree Homecare in Scottsdale, AZ show their commitment to excellence in care giving by the compassionate and capable staff that they hire. Agencies like Carefree Homecare can help your loved one and all family members—near or far—experience the peace of mind that comes from knowing that help is at hand. As a family assesses their needs and contacts a home care service, they can arrange for a qualified home care agency to send a caregiver every day of the week, or occasionally as needed. The agency will keep in touch with family members of the loved one as often as they would like updates. For more information about Carefree Homecare call (480) 483-8531 or visit their website at www.carefreehomecare.com.

 

www.carefreehomecare.com  Carefree Homecare provides premier non-medical home care for seniors in Phoenix, Paradise Valley and Scottsdale.  Call us today at 480-483-8531