Memories and Time
Have you ever been taken back in time to an event in your life by something that happens in your life today? Well, the recent malignant brain tumor diagnosis for Senator Ted Kennedy did that very thing to me recently. In early 1995 my father received pretty much the same news from his doctor. Glioblastoma was the word and the news, although taken very well by my father, was a shocker to our family. Dad had just celebrated his 80th birthday and had been very healthy his entire life. Now he had six-weeks to six-months to live. Surgery was not a viable option due to the aggressive nature of the tumor and the impossibility of “getting it all” in surgery. Dad opted to go quietly without radiation or chemotherapy. Dad wanted to enjoy what life he had left with a clear mind.
In the six weeks following the doctor’s phone call and dad’s passing, there was not a lot of time to talk, but I did manage some quality conversations with him. My being in Phoenix and working and dad being in Payson made for short visits each weekend and only a few weekdays. A week before he died my brother and I took dad fishing on Roosevelt Lake. We all had a great time and I remember telling him I loved him as he drove away that afternoon. Dad shared those same sentiments for me as my brother’s car pulled away. That was the last time we had a coherent visit before dad slipped away a week later.
With the news of Senator Kennedy’s condition on TV most days it is hard not to think of conversations that might, or might not have taken place between us. Thirteen years is a long time and it is hard to remember everything that was said. Did I tell him I loved him? I know I did that. Did I tell him I was glad he was my dad? Did I thank him for everything he did for me as a child and later as a parent myself? Did he know how much I appreciated everything he and my mother sacrificed in order to provide for me when I was growing up?
Time and a memory that misses like a 1963 Chevy that needs a tune up, keep me from knowing the answers to most of those questions. I know we talked about a lot of things, but I can no longer remember if he left this world knowing just how much he really meant to me.
I was lucky in a way, I knew about when my dad was going to die. I had time to speak my peace and I know I covered most of what I needed to say. Most of the time we are not that lucky when it comes to knowing when our loved ones are going to pass away.
I guess if there is a moral to this story it is that time is precious. There is no time better than the present to let your loved ones know you care, love and appreciate them.
